How many times have we heard that phrase above? Everyone has had a blank moment or know someone who has been there. What drives one person, who is preparing for a certain job, become paralyzed at the last minute?

A classic example is a student. He/she takes the entire year preparing for taking exams, loses several nights of sleep, gives up walks, attends the best prep school, makes all the mock exams and always goes well. Never leaves the house and is always studying, after all the final test is so close! After months of effort, the final test day comes and the unexpected happens: a blank takes care of his memory and he can’t answer even the simplest question. The student, who was very well prepared, knew everything and would pass the test very easily – as shown on the mocks – doesn’t reach the needed number of points and ends up being disqualified.

This situation is very common. There is a high expectation on us, as parents, when our children reach the age of choosing a career. It is a very important step and they aren’t often prepared to take it. Knowing this, we give a few guesses, because we love our children and don’t want them to suffer from poor or futureless choices.

Thinking about the safest path, most parents tend to encourage their children to continue on the family business, which is already underway. Most times the weight of this kind of responsibility is so big that the child gets a true aversion to business. Other parents leave their children with complete freedom of choice, making it easier with a vocational test and giving all the conditions to reach their goal. However, this positive attitude is not enough, because many parents forget the emotional side, which should come first.

We think that with our effort and support, he will succeed but we don’t see that our child is tense and nervous. We believe that it all goes away when he passes the final exam, and then just give him a remedy – believing that it’s something momentary.

The big day arrives. When he receives the test, all the energies start to concentrate around those sheets that may decide his fate. They end up failing for yielding to the emotional pressure.

There are two main factors that make a huge difference in time that we implement what we’ve learned: stress (fear, anxiety, insecurity, etc.) and lack of concentration (over-confidence, euphoria, negligence, among others). In a stressful event, we experienced an imbalance of our emotions, we modify our entire physiology and the unconscious processes of the body, such as temperature, pulse rate, respiration and blood pressure.
Sometimes, a simple relaxation can make us feel better. We all need to relax and find a way to relieve stress. There are several ways, such as:

- Meditation
- Mental conditioning
- Positive hinking
- Visualization

When the body is relaxed our blood pressure lowers and our heart beats decrease, reassuring the mind, allowing the senses to better perceive the information, making our memory work better, that our reasoning has a more logical chain and additional powers – such as intuition and creativity – are brought into the process.

This exercise can help you through stressful times and make you reach the big day with total calm and certainty of a great outcome. Make it three times a week, it takes no more than five minutes.

- Find a quiet place, where you are alone

- Put a relaxing music and find the most comfortable position

- Make three long deep breaths.

- Imagine and visualize you’re going to the test and you’re feeling calm and quiet. You’ve studied and will remember it all, getting an excellent result
- Repeat as many times as you want, believing in it: “I’m a very intelligent, calm and creative person”. You will be very happy with the result.

Myriam Durante
Psychotherapist