As psychotherapist, I take care of many couples that try to rescue its marriage. I prefer to make an individual therapy first and then I do it to the couple.

I could realize that both needs to relieve, but sometimes they can’t do it in front of the other. What is most curious is that the complaints are very similar: lack of affection, attention…

Analyzing it, you discover that, deep down, they stopped looking at each other. In our daily rush, we sometimes end up with no time left, passing over the small things that keeps a happy relationship.

How many times, while watching a romantic movie, you didn’t think: “he (she) used to send me flowers” or “he (she) used to do it but he (she) doesn’t do t anymore”? How many times we look at our companion and we don’t say a word, even having so much to say? We start to swallowing and leaving it all.

How many times we want to give him (her) a hug or to make any another kind of affection, but we end up distrust to seem silly or with fear of the other’s reaction? How many times we feel ashamed of our children, as if walking while holding hands or giving a kiss in our companion was something shameful?

With all these reserves, we end up closing ourselves. We occupy our life with our house, work and children and we start to forget ourselves and of our dreams and desires, thinking that our time has already passed. We are always waiting for the right moment to speak or to do something and, many times, when in we realize, many years have gone by and we gained a lot of hurts and resentments without much reason.

Reserve a time just for you, a place only yours. Relax, take a deep breath and think about your life.

Have you realized that time passes very fast? We live in a rush, so don’t wait to much. The right moment is right now, you just have to let it happen. Many people believe that they be happy tomorrow, because today is very difficult. They always seem to invent an excuse. But when they decide to try, it can be that too late.

Some moments simply don’t come back. People change, they get old, but they’re still the same ones for whom we feel in love with. We need to open up our heart and let our pride and fear aside, and then, start over.

Myriam Durante
Psycotherapist